Maximilian Hecker about his music


back I write songs, because, to emotionally survive, I need to unblock the channel to my soul with the help of music to finally be able feel and to finally be able to express my deepest longing. A longing for disembodiment, a longing for an unsubstantial infinity, a longing for reunification with a lost entirety. Spoken psychoanalytically: the longing for reunification with the primary object to fill the fundamental gap that its lost has left.

I am neither a depressed nor a sad nor a melancholic person. In my eyes, my music is all about BLISS. For me, bliss means being able to feel. It means being able to have intense, deep emotions, no matter if it’s happy or sad emotions. It means wallowing in melodramatic emotions. It means living through the initiation rite of deep agony and feeling as free as never before when the agony is over ("catharsis"). This all means bliss to me as, in my everyday life, I have a problem to feel, as my "emotion-free", strict, controlled and rational everyday life character suppresses my emotions and blocks the channel to my soul. As said before, my music eventually enables me to unblock this channel. It allows me to perceive my soul, my true Self. It allows me to finally feel.

When I left my hometown and started to live my own life ten years ago, I started to wonder who I am and what I want. When you’re on your own for the first time in your life, the first path that opens is "conformity": living a life according to the parents' and the society's values, also known as "superego". This is the path that I walk on most of the time in my everyday life . The superego forces me to be "emotion-free, strict, controlled and rational", like described before. The other, contrasting path that opens is "rebellion": doing and representing the opposite of what the superego demands. This path allows me to feel free and "godlike". Hence, my music for me means rebellion against my superego. My Music is the advocate of my soul.

The general problem is that the "rebellion-path" is as non-emancipated as the "conformity-path" – as one still lives his life in a virtual dependence of his parents/the society.

The third path now, almost invisible at first, has more and more unveiled over the last years. That path is the one I need to walk on. That one will finally lead me to my Self without the need of rebellion, without the need of artistic creation. Walking on this path and daring to finally cross the bridge to my soul for good, not just temporarily, like with the help of my songs, that is the actual initiation rite of becoming a human being. it’s a hard task that might take a lifetime.